I struggled for a moment whether or not to write this blog. “Will the reader think I’m being vulgar? Will the reader look past the attention catching headline, and move into the message?” I have concluded that the risk is worth the taking, because these 3 steps really will get you higher average tickets, and better sex.
Before I give you the 3 steps, you need the story of how I learned these steps.
Before bed one night, I picked up my wife’s calendar. She always keeps her calendar on her bed stand. As I flipped back a month, I noticed that she had scribbled some odd-looking notes. This is normal for Shannon, as she is a highly organized Cautious personality. But then something caught my eye.
On several of the days, there were symbols, as opposed to words. Dot – Smiley Face – Indifferent Face.
I found this fascinating. So, I flipped back through more months. Over and over again, these mysterious symbols were repeated.
I asked myself, “What do these symbols mean? And, why did each of these dates feel so familiar?”
I was even more confused, because the symbols had no apparent order. Sometimes I would get:
Dot – Smiley Face – Indifferent Face
And other times I would get:
Smiley Face – Smiley Face – Indifferent Face – Dot
I couldn’t make a connection other than a sense of familiarity to the dates.
So I asked my lovely bride what the symbols meant, and why they were on the calendar.
This is how I learned on of the greatest lessons on focus and attention ever. Shannon said the following to me:
“Those symbols mark the days we were intimate. The Dot means it was “OK.” The Smiley Face means is was “Good.” Etc.”
Wow! This was the day that I learned that my wife was tracking and grading every sexual experience we have ever had! Yep, I was a little surprised. If you were in my place, what would you be thinking? Of course, “How are my grades?”
My grades were not bad, but the Indifferent Face stung a little. OK, it stung a lot! The truth is, I want to measure up well, and please my wife. I don’t want an “Indifferent Face!” I’m a strong, testosterone pumping male! I want good grades!
The logical next step is to discover how to get good grades. I asked Shannon, “How do I get more “smiley faces” on your calendar?”
The answer she gave me led me to the following 3 keys of wisdom.
The 3 steps to better intimacy with your spouse
The experience should be focused on your wife.
I once heard a pastor, yes a pastor, say “A real man can please his wife. He does that because he focuses on her. Men, sex is always going to be good for you, that’s a given. Make sure you focus on her, and that the sex is good for her too!” Amen brother.
Take your time.
Rushing is a selfish act. Slow down. This is true in the bedroom, and it is true in providing superior client service. If you are rushing through the process, you are missing the critical connection stages.
The beauty of a monogamous marriage is that two people get to know each other like no one else. Fears are removed, and you can ask questions. Knowledge is very powerful, and becomes easier to please when you and your partner are of one mind.
By the way, these are the same 3 steps that produces higher average tickets.
Let me explain:
The experience should be focused on your client.
Your client deserves 100% of your professional focus when you are with them. This builds trust, and points to a desire to please. This still works today.
Take your time.
Far too many technicians and service providers rush through the “foreplay” of service. They don’t take the time to discover who their clients are, or what they want. Slow down, and go back to asking questions, and completing client overviews and safety inspections.
Your client wants a conversation, not a lecture. Learning to communicate in a reciprocal fashion will also win over the “hard sale”.
When you get right down to it, this lesson is really about giving another person your best intention and attention. Do that well, and you will be successful in all the important areas of your life.